Fuck you.

I know I've taken forever to update anything here. I've seen a shit-load of films in the mean-time and I've liked a few of them.

I admire profoundly the people that can put this sort of drivelly bullshit out on an every-day basis, and I thank them for it because that's, like, 40% of my day gauging readings of stuff that's probably stupid and unfun, but sometimes yields gems.


I'm in a miserable mode, and I need to bail.

Review:

Underworld: Evolution: B

Greatly amusing in most ways. Dude, it's got Kate Beckinsale in some sort of PVC and tight thing throughout, and her, fairly naked (emotionally, metaphorically, and also literally, which, um, we were not expecting _at all_.)), in a way that we haven't seen her before.

She is, here, more naked (again, emotionally speaking) than she's been since Last Days of Disco*, in which she is so real that you can't actually believe.

As for plot, um, it's stupid and flimsy and entails Derek Jacobi fighting Tony Curran, which, any fight involving Derek Jacobi is awesome as far as I'm concerned, but, um, still. . . . Now, that the third act is entirely the Kate, fighting several people with "Ben" from Felicity occasionally doing damage, is by far the film's greatest strength (second is "Ben"'s tendency to, no shit, rip jaws off of people and things that disagree with him at any given moment), though it's weaknesses such as "why not ditch the exposition and make a great movie?" are very evident, and there is a "stop watching "the Matrix" whilst stoned and start making greatly fun movies yourself" vibe, which God knows I've encountered hundreds of those in the past several years.

Kate Beckinsale manages to be real and vulnerable and fun all at the same time here. I'd give her an Oscar because she is obviously trying, but doesn't let the strain show, and but still manages to transcend every bit of the material that she is given. She is awesome.

Relevent, I think, is Angelina Jolie in Tomb Raider. Lots of pressure, very small personal rewards. In both cases the actors came out wonderfully, but I think Ms. Beckinsale came out considerably ahead in terms of any qualifiable standard. She acts well. Extremely well.

*which bonus review now coming up.